Thursday, September 4, 2014

Just Hot Glue the Shit Out of It

Like most of you, my Pinterest boards are positively filled with things that I'm never going to do.


I'm never going to make Blackberry Glazed Salmon and Asparagus. I have zero intention of reading the 24 books that I must read this summer. Growing lemon seeds in a mug on my kitchen counter seems like a great idea, but like hell am I going to go out and buy potting soil for it. And I'm certainly not going to do any of the workouts I have pinned.

Just kidding. I haven't pinned any workouts.

I assumed that's what would come of the fall wreath Pinterest Spiral I fell into not too long ago. I don't recall how it started exactly. All I remember is that I opened the Pinterest app at the start of my break, and then snapped out of what felt an awful lot like a blackout, 25 minutes later (ten minutes late to return to work) with the overwhelming desire to paper mache some shit.

There was one especially cute and easy looking wreath that I did really love though. You can view the pin here. Or you can see it on it's original site, Fun Home Things. I liked the idea of using a picture frame instead of the traditional circular wreath, and the use of an initial appealed to the uncontrollable narcissist in me.

Looking at it, I started to think how annoying it was that I was going to do all of this work, but I'd only get to use it for one season, and then I'd have to start all over again. Let's be real here, I'm barely gonna pull it together long enough to make one, I'm not about to make this a regular thing.

That's when I had a brilliant idea (an idea that I've since realized is not at all original, and I'm sure I probably saw it somewhere else first). Why not make the seasonal accents on the frame removable so they can be switched out when needed? Bats and junk for Halloween, some pumpkins or whatever for Thanksgiving, and a big, fat, glittery candy cane for Christmas; all held on with a patch of velcro tucked discretely behind a neatly tied bow.

I'm a genius.

With promises of a quick and easy craft project, I got my friend Emma to join me, and we went to work collecting supplies. I'd need a frame, glitter, and a bunch of other stuff that I didn't even bother writing down on a list, because once you've got the glitter, the rest of the project just kind of comes together...probably.

What should have been a forty five minute shopping trip turned into a 5 hour long adventure in which the following phrases were all uttered:

"I need to look at a hedgehog pretty much right now, can we swing by Pet Expo?"
"Obviously I don't need it, but it has a swirley straw!"
"Well, I know I shouldn't be shopping at Hobby Lobby, but I'll be damned if their glitter selection isn't the best in town."
"And, yeah, it's on Netflix, but I would just feel better if I had them on DVD know, just in case." (in reference to Keeping Up With the Kardashians seasons 1 and 2)
"He's a little f#%!ing freak." (in reference to a 4 year old boy)

Also, in related shopping news, while I was out shopping with Julie earlier the same day, she called me out pretty hard on my bed sheet snobbery.

"...and I simply won't sleep on anything that isn't Egyptian Cotton at this point."
"'Cause you saw it on Uptown Girls, right?"

Emma and I wandered around Michael's for quite awhile looking for inspiration. We came up with a bunch of ideas, but it wasn't until I found some sequined spiders in the Halloween section that I really started having a vision of what I wanted to do. I got everything I needed for the Halloween theme I'd planned on doing, but when I started considering putting together the autumn theme that I'd switch it out with I was absolutely exhausted by the idea. So I decided I'd just do the one for now and work on another later.

The metallic pheasant artwork in the thrift store frame is my favorite.
I started by painting the frame and the letter white...well I started by putting The Simple Life Season 5 in the DVD player, and eating half a bag of cheeseballs, but the painting was the first craft related task.

Then I moved onto the glitter portion of the job which was just putting down a layer of Mod Podge on the letter and sprinkling on silver glitter. Emma remarked at how simple it was, and I responded with a maniacal look in my eye and an exclamation of, "YEAH!! YOU CAN GLITTER ANYTHING!"

It was at this point that I realized that the idea of removable pieces was some real varsity crafting shit, and I was not talented enough to be making that team (I'm much better suited to being the team manager who just takes stats but still gets an excuse to go into the locker room after the game). So I gave up that dream and decided to just stick with making a Halloween themed wreath. The realization freed me to up start adding more glitter accents, namely the purple ribbon that I bought with absolutely no clue as to what I'd use it for.

Please excuse the dirty microwave that I took a picture on without thinking wipe down first. My life is a joke.

We'd been working on this stupid project for hours by this time, and Emma and I were both looking for whatever shortcuts we could find. That's when our theme for the night came about.

Just hot glue the shit out of it.

And hot glue the shit out of it we did. I'd never used one of these magical tools, but I'm in love now. I feel like I could craft anything as long as I had some glitter and a hot glue gun. The rest of the wreath came together really quickly, and I'm beyond thrilled with the finished product!

Cute, right?!

While I was giving up on my dreams, Emma stood by the original plan doing both an Autumn and Halloween theme that could be switched out. Her finished product looked super adorable as well!

Kudos to her for finding a way to hang it up already too. That's an added annoyance that I didn't plan for.

One downside to tiny removable parts is the ease to which they can be lost. Emma learned this the hard way when she lost them immediately after leaving my apartment. She got all the way home, realized they were gone and had to drive back to search for them in my parking lot by the light of her cell phone.

I should probably start taking people's phone calls in case of moments like this.

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